oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
