No, drunk sperm still make babies.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
