The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Randomize
