If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
