Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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