thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
