WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
