I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
