Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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