you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
