this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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