Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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