You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
