just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What a dumb baby whore.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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