this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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