at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize