she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
