i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
