Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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