he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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