Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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