i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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