sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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