she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You dont lie about slip and slides
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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