3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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