dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
