How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
