i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Still dying that you shit outside
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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