If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize