I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Oh god it's open bar.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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