I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
