i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
