We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize