We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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