Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
