Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize