Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
