Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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