He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He's a Shit stain on my heart
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
