I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
