it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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