I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
