I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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