Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize