Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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