The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
