I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
