The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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