just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
