so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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