one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
