also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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