Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you traded sex for a burrito?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
