i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
