i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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