We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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