Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
